From: yangyang(yngshy91@yahoo.com.cn)
to: Maarten Bergvelt bergv@illinoi.edu
date: Wed. Sept. 8, 2010 at 12:29 pm.
Subject: Asking for help!
Dear Professor Bergvelt
I am your student in Mathematics 231. My name is Shiyi Yang and my UIN is 678798331. I should have taken FD7 dicussion section but I mistakenly took FD1 section the very first two weeks. However, I took the two quizes and finished the discussion homework in FD1. Could I transfer the score I got in FD1 to FD7 discussion section?
Sincerely,
Shiyi Yang
Ha Nice. I did nearly the same exact thing as you. xD
回复删除My comment/question would be concerning the subject title of the email. "Asking for help" isn't descriptive of what the email is going to contain. It could be one of those chain/spam mail things where they ask you to help them sneak money out of a country by using your bank account and they give you like 5 million dollars. Whats a better title you could have?
此评论已被作者删除。
回复删除This is a simple email. I am thinking that the subject may be a little bit inappropriate. First of all, you need to be more specific than just a "asking for help". Then I suggest to get rid of the exclamation at the end. I am glad to see that your email is really direct and hit the main problem. You include enough information as well, which is great. One problem, though, that you have is that you should either use the campus email address or include that at the end, as the professor may need that to help you.
回复删除Bo
Bo
Yang,
回复删除In my personal opinion this email is far too short and uninformative about your communication skills for me to give any real feedback.
I would question you subject though, with reflects a little to much informality and you seem to get right to the point without giving any sort of gratitude or thanks to the professor for the effort he is going to make for you. I believe his seniority requires a little more formal respect when asking a favour.
Regards,
Akbar
As everyone else has already said, the title of your message should be more formal and descriptive.
回复删除Aside from that, though, I don't believe that it is important for you to include your UIN for identification, especially if as you use your @illinois.edu address (which I think would have been more appropriate).
I also think it would have been better if you gave your name first, then your connection to the professor (as a student). I like that you included which lecture you're taking with him, since that is something important that I, myself, often forget to mention.